6 of Dubai Reddit’s ‘cringiest’ stories from around the city

Dubai’s subreddit is an active community of around 7,500 residents. If you haven’t yet checked it out, you should here.

Well, yesterday, they banded together to share some of their cringiest stories — the results? Decide for yourself.

1. Vagina lasagna by /u/Afx8592rdjj

Let’s share our most fucked up, cringy things. I’ll start:

Around a few months back, I was in Oregano in Motor city with my girlfriend having dinner. I was very delighted to see Italian staff all over the place, and a beautiful atmosphere. Even my waiter was Italian, really cool guy. So we proceeded to order our food. I asked him whether or not their lasagna was good, he said it was well worth a try. being the scholar he is, I trusted him and went with my decision.

Food arrived. Calamari was real good, my gf’s spaghetti was delicious, my lasagna, was disappointing.

So the waiter came to ask me how the food was, this is where my real fuck up happened. The restaurant is small and everyone could hear everyone. I wanted to say ” My mother’s Lasagna is tastier ”, but, by complete mistake, I ended up uttering ” My Mother’s Vagina is tastier ”.

A few seconds into the awkwardness I realized what I’ve done. His smile was being hidden in the upmost possible way and his eyes were teary. My gf with her jaw dropped and most of the store staring at me. Around 2-3 seconds of this and then literally everyone bursts into laughter. Most of the chefs had to go outside and laugh for a good 5 minutes. The waiter just kept crying out of laughter while trying to avoid eye contact with me as much as possible. A bunch of other people on the next table started vigorously clap with excitement and making weird noises. This went on for a good 5 minutes while my girlfriend had to use her Inhaler just to breath properly from laughing so hard.

That’s my story. Go to Oregano in Motor City and question this. I am now an urban legend.

2. Creepy bus passenger by /u/Delta4

I was on the bus one day and this dude was staring at me. I had my hair dyed blonde at the time and had to change it because he would stare at me everyday. One day he even followed me to my work.

I think he thought I was a girl?

Long story short, I had to cut my hair shorter and carry a rape whistle.

3. Undercover boss by /u/Revert_Von_Needful

Was late for work and running toward elevator, this older gentleman stopped the doors for me, I thanked him and he smiled. Then continued to talk to me for some reason, like casual talk, really nice…it is a long ride anyways, hows the work. I said you know, same same, one day good one bad, and he is like company treats you good? I said depends on the manager, like all companies, bigger ones have internal politics…he says I agree, much need to be done to change it though. And then I said well this company is special in way they mistreat certain teams and shit…and on I go about it, he is like very interested in that…

So then he proceeds to the same floor as I am going…weird, said goodbye and 30 minutes later I learned our global CEO has come over for visit and will give a speech. Guess who that guy in elevator was?

I was about to die from embarrassment when he entered the room to meet us all..but he smiled and said I appreciate your honesty…that was a close one.

4. Super-milky coffee by /u/bythedirham

Noob times at the office. Client asked for coffee with milk at 2pm. I swear maybe culture shock or afternoon whirlwind in the office, all I heard was cold milk. Pantry ran out of milk, told my boss…she just said use nestle cream. Kinda felt weird. But nontheless pepared a cold concoction of powdered cream and water. Viola. Cold milk. Gave it to the client. After 30 minutes later, boss asked what have I given the poor chap. Told the story. The poor guy drank the whole thing, didnt bothered to complain. So embarrased. Stupidest Ive ever been.

5. Busted by the parents by /u/situationanalysis

This happened when I initially moved to dubai. A friend’s parents’ apartment was empty, while they were looking to rent it out. I camped there while getting my accommodation sorted out. One afternoon, I hook up with someone, get them over. My friend calls asking if I am at home, I say I am out because I don’t want my friend to come over to meet me.

Next thing I know the main door opens, it is his parents with a real estate agent. I drag my hookup and run into the washroom, turn the tap on. The parents are taken aback because they thought no one is at home.

I have a conversation with them through the washroom door, they say they’ll wait because the agent wants to take pictures of the washroom too, I say I will take a long time, they say they will wait and they finally leave.

My hookup looking at me the whole time like I am a nutcase, my friend calls me to ask what happened, why did I lie. Moved out to the first apartment I found in 2 days, too embarrassed. 🙈

6. Slip of the tongue /u/pinkyponk

I was out for drinks with work colleagues (which is a rare occasion for me) I was chatting to the fiancee of this chap i work with. So I ask at one point “so where is the wedding going to be”, she replies “eh, we are not getting married” and looks all upset. I quickly exited towards the bar.

I thought they were engaged because I had overheard other people mention it to the bloke in the office. It turns out that was just people winding him up because they had been going out so long but he hadn’t asked her, and it was a bit of a sore point.

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